Adventuresome squirrel a danger to Midway ride?

Squirrel banned from roller coaster ride ANI

Alton Towers theme park has been forced to ban a daredevil squirrel from one of its rides as its antics pose a health and safety risk.

The rodent was said to be causing headaches for operators at Alton Towers by getting in the way of improvement work on an attraction at the resort.

Workers noticed it riding the revamped Sonic Spinball roller coaster as it was tested in the mornings and joining visitors who were offered an early go on it before the official opening.

The grey-haired animal was also caught stealing food from the workers.

Yeah! I'll bet THIS was the biggest reason!! Workmen get grumpy when they don't have their reg'lar midmornin' Moonpie™, or fish 'n' chips, or whatever those British folks have for munchies.

A spokesman for the Staffordshire theme park said: ''It was getting in the way of builders who were painting.

''They couldn't carry on because they would end up with paw prints in the paint.

''And we can't have anything on the track when the roller coaster is going round.''

Paw prints in the paint!! Ah dee-clayah! That awful vahmint was jest makin' uh shambles uv ahwuh fahn entuhtaynmint facility!! Oh, lands!

Alarms were installed that emit a warning noise inaudible to human ears but designed to ensure the squirrel, nicknamed Sonic, avoids the ride in future.

Morwenna Angove, sales and marketing director at the Alton Towers resort, said: ''Unfortunately Sonic's behaviour is a danger both to our guests and himself and so we're doing all we can to ensure that he stays away from the ride."

I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- SPECIESISM! If Sonic keeps his paws in the car like everybody else, I don't see why he can't ride the roller coaster. Now, there is the little matter of payment -- if he's a freeloader, and not buyin' a ticket, I can see why the management might be a little hostile. But the workers can buy lunchboxes to keep him out of their food. And as for pawprints in the wet paint, I consider that an expression of artistic freedom. For all I know, Sonic has a grant from the local Arts Council. It's not like it's hurting the roller coaster or anything to have a few squirrel footprints in a contrasting color scattered here and there. Gives the little guy a lasting legacy.

What's that you say, Mommy? "Height requirement"? What's that? What do you mean you have to be a certain height to ride a roller coaster??!!?? MORE discrimination!! They're effectively keeping ALL critters off the roller coaster, except for horses, elephants and giraffes and guys like that!!

THAT'S IT!! I'm callin' in the lawyers!! What's Hairy Mason's number?